It’s been literally 1,000,000 years or more that humans have learned to control fire and take advantage of its various benefits.  So why the f*ck can’t I get a lighter that works reliably? I know as Americans we love to compare the fact that “we put a man on the moon” and can’t do whatever it is we’ve decided to bitch about in any given moment, but in this case they both revolve largely around our ability to harness fire and I believe I’ve spent a similar amount as NASA in its pursuit.  My golf bag alone houses the wasted remains of opulent Colibri, Xikar, Bugatti and more.  I’ve spent my hard-earned cash like a crackhead on a score, or a gambler saying “it owes me”, and have done so all in the hopes of getting a solid, consistent and unfailing flame. 

To my frustration, nearly all fall short of such a noble goal.   Sure there’s the old trusty bic that’s been used once by the person who bought it, and is then forever traded by folks who are probably still getting late fees for Cocoon on VHS and don’t return borrowed items… But that’s not a good windproof flame.  There’s the zippo with it’s equally reliable steel, flint and big ass wick. But for the love-of-god please don’t use those for a good cigar unless you’re partial to every stogie tasting like a Nigerian bootleg oil refinery. Yup there’s the steadfast wooden match which in an indoor or wind-free setting I surely enjoy, but that’s as useless as my kids on a roofing job, when I’m out on the links or really anywhere on the planet. 

So what I want… What I need… Is a motherf*cking butane loaded, wound cauterizing, fire alarm inducing, scare-the-piss-out-of-children, arc reacting, vanquish your enemy and steal their girlfriend provoking, all out terrifying pocket dragon that can toast the foot for the car next to me at a stop light.  Or really just a single or tri-flame spark that can light me up unfailingly in even a 1-knot wind.   Perhaps, I’ve finally found a reliable solution? I just ordered up a handful of Tomolo Lighters from Dr. Evil Bezos and so far I’m impressed.  Again, I’ve run the gamut. Cheap-ass single flame Ronson butane up to a couple hundred dollar shiny paperweights.  I’ve even gone so far as to drink the Kool-aid and buy the same brand premium butane refills being billed as the cure-all and I’m 99% sure all the same shit with a different label. 

But so far, so good on these Tomolo sparks.  But in all fairness to my other useless pieces of shit, this may eventually join their ranks as I’m only a few days in.   My first impression was that they spent an excess amount on packaging to maybe try and justify the cost (which I felt was reasonable at just under $25/unit – https://www.amazon.com/TOMOLO-Lighter-Triple-Refillable-Charcoal/dp/B07PF4DQ2K *Unpaid/Unofficial/Unauthorized/Unqualified Spokesperson*) Removing it though I liked the overall weight and feel of the unit.  It feels solid and well constructed.  I immediately liked the translucent butane well which can easily be viewed to determine how much fuel you’ve filled it with.  The tank is large enough to hold many sticks worth of enjoyment, not unlike my ex. A side mount flip down integrated punch, folds out 180 degrees and the location feels superior to the many bottom mount punches I’ve used in the past (there’s a dirty joke in there somewhere).  The hinged top cover keeps debris out of the spark and nozzle area, which features 3 adjustable flames.  That adjustment knob is found opposite and presents as a large style wheel which can be operated even without an opposable thumb and is quite unlike the all-to-common microscopic, have to carry a special tool, ‘does that say + or –‘, ‘did it even move’ producing bullshit we all love so much.  So far it’s provided a nice wide flame on every attempt without fail, and does an excellent job of toasting with control even if you have to relight the smallest nub which is always a fun ‘will I still have eyebrows’ moment.

Bottomline, it’s a “relatively” cheap or reasonably option in my unsolicited opinion.  I’ll be sure to update this if it doesn’t live up to the hype. Regardless, you can never have too many lighters squirreled away in various spots throughout the house, so be sure to comment and let me know what else is worth a look.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *